I've been ill for the past month. Surrendering to it happened somewhere a long the way and a lot of emotional healing took place in the stillness of being ill. But when I was getting better I noticed I started using all the regained energy up in activity straight away. I felt that because I had been doing 'nothing 'for a long time I had to catch up. But that resulted in feeling exhausted once again and my illness coming back, be it less strong. Now I'm feeling like I'm still a quarter ill, if you know what I mean, but my energy has not come back 75 %. So I have to relax, wether I want to or not. And accept that I'm still not well. While doing the dishes I noticed this haste inside of me and looking at it I came to the conclusion that I don't know when it is time to get better and that is is arrogant to think that I do. I have to let Life decide. Activity is not better then stillness. It is arrogant to think that it is. Great Mother knows. Too much activity is not good, the world gets out of balance with it's exces of goal-orientedness. We could all do with a bit more stillness I believe. The guilt that comes up when we take the necesarry time to be still is nothing more then the pressure of a world out of balance that is looking for the survival of this imbalanced way of functioning. We don't have to take it to heart. It's ok to be still.
Stillness is as important as activity.
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