EROS: the sum of life-preserving instincts that are manifested as impulses to gratify basic needs, as sublimated impulses, and as impulses to protect and preserve the body and mind.
( found at https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Eros))
Somewhere along the path of my healing I stumbled upon something that is called ‘the grail wound’, which is characterized as ‘the core erotic wound’.
I always thought that this was something that had to do primarily with sexuality but I just realized, that the grail wound trauma entails any situation in which we have been told that we're not worth our own life force energy and we should part with it for the sake of the person who is telling us this.
I know it sounds quite unbelievable, but it hit me that this is exactly what happens when grail wound trauma occurs. I came to that conclusion because I feel that the root of the grail wound is to be losing power over our own life force energy, which is in fact what eros is all about. Life preserving instincts fueled by life force energy.
It can be a sexual situation but it does not necessarily need to be and both the sexual and the non-sexual situation in which one loses power over their own life force energy can be confused. If it's a non-sexual situation it can be confused for a sexual situation because on the energetic level it creates the same kind of feeling. The feeling of being violated.
In these kinds of situations what happens on the energetic level is that the person who is making us confused about our own self-worth, is thereby forcing their way into the energy field of our first chakra, which is the seat of our identity, where our right of existence lies and as a result energy leaves our first chakra to feed this person.
Can you imagine that we all have been told one way or another that we were not worth our OWN life force energy and believed it? The message is never given in these clear words of course, more in words that inflict shame or punishment if you do not supply the other person with your life force energy. Life force energy can be supplied in many ways. It can be given through obedience, through putting another person on a pedestal, through carrying another person's emotional burden or shame for something they did or through being sexually abused. The way we compensate can take many forms, but it is always under threat of having any of our vital needs unmet if we do not give whatever is being asked of us, thereby having our eros attacked. Even if what is asked for is the one thing that has been given as our birth right to enjoy and manifest our souls' purpose with. That’s what it’s for… OUR life force energy.
This kind of belief that another person then we ourselves has a right to it and should be in charge of it can only be created in a situation in which our eros is vulnerable because of dependency, when we are in a dependent position like that of a child or in a life-threatening situation as an adult. In case of an adult succumbing to this belief, it is called the Stockholm syndrome. Loyalty moves from ourselves to another person who is telling us lies, on the most basic level. The level of the right of our existence. That’s why it is so painful but it is also why it brings tremendous healing when we recognize it and can turn it around. Healing on one of the most basic levels of our being.
That’s why I’m writing this article to bring awareness and maybe some recognition.
After this first step of healing, grail wound healing entails bringing the loyalty back to ourselves and thereby getting back in charge of our own life force energy.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
You know what, I even believe it is inevitable.
It's ok to see the lie now.
You are safe.